Martin (John Amplas), a young man who looks around 20-years-old, boards a train in Indianapolis, Indiana for New York. At night, he breaks into a sleeping car and sedates a woman with a syringe full of narcotics. She struggles, but he tells her not to struggle or be upset because she wont feel pain. After a few minutes, the woman falls asleep, and Martin has sex with the unconscious woman. Afterwards, he slices her wrists with a razor blade so he can drink her blood. The woman bleeds to death in her sleep.
In the morning, the train stops in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where Martin disembarks. He is met by Tata Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) an elderly and hostile old man who claims to be his cousin from the Old World. Together, they travel by another train to the town of Braddock, a dying industrial suburb. They walk to Cuda's large house where he shows Martin his living quarters. Cuda then accuses Martin of being an 84-year-old vampire from his old country. He has taken in Martin because he is family, but tells him, "First I will save your soul. Then I shall destroy you." Martin denies being a vampire and implies that Cuda is merely his uncle rather than his cousin. Cuda then puts up strings of garlic on the doors to his and his granddaughter's room, and then holds up a small cross when Martin approaches him. Martin takes away the cross, and even takes a bite of the garlic mocking these attempts by saying bitterly, "There's no real magic... ever". Cuda tells Martin that he can come and go as he pleases. But he also warns Martin that he will kill him if he kills anyone in Braddock. He also tells Martin to stay away from his granddaughter Christine (Christine Forrest), whom arrives home from her job that evening.
Cuda introduces Christine to Martin, but also warns her to stay away from him. But Christine instead strikes up a friendship with Martin who confides in her about his vampire heritage. When Cuda later confirms Martin's claims to be a vampire, Christine, not surprisingly, refuses to believe either one. She thinks that Cuda and the other members of her family have driven Martin to insanity by making him think that he is a vampire. It is never revealed if Martin really is a vampire, or just a shy and lonely youth with troubled issues. Christine is the only person that Martin gets the courage to talk to. When Christine's boyfriend Arthur (Tom Savini) arrives at the house for dinner, Martin stops talking and backs away despite Arthur's attempt at a conversation. Christine later confides in Martin that she hopes to leave Braddock someday with Arthur, even though Martin points out that Arthur treats her badly and is both verbally and physically abusive towards her.
When Christine sees that Martin won't talk to anyone else, she buys him a phone which he installs in his room. Martin begins to repeatingly call a radio talk show where he describes what it's like to be a vampire. He becomes known on the radio as "the Count" to all the listeners. But the patronizing host (Michael Gornick) thinks he's just crazy.
Martin gets a job at Cuda's grocery store of stocking shelves, hauling boxes around, and even gets to be a delivery boy for some of the customers. One of his customers is a certain Abby Santini (Elyane Nadeau), who becomes taken in with Martin. She is a very friendly young woman who is depressed when she tells Martin that her husband is unfaithful. But Martin still does not have the nerve to talk with her, so she is happy to have someone to confide in with her life problems. Martin phones the radio show host to describe his infatuation with the housewife and senses that she wants to have sex with him. When the radio show host asks Martin if it is a sexual problem that he has involving women criticizing him during sex, Martin replies that he has never had sex with a woman who was awake.
One day, Martin travels by train to outside Braddock to look for victims. At a supermarket, he follows a young woman (Sarah Venable) home to her posh suburban house. He sees the woman's husband (Richard Rubenstein) leave for a long business trip, and Martin decides this would be the right time for more feeding. Martin returns to the house after dark and breaks in through the garage door. But it is Martin who gets the surprise when he bursts into her bedroom to find her in bed with her adulterous lover Lewis (Al Levitsky). After a vicious struggle, Martin jabs both of them with hyprodermic needles with narcotics, and waits for the drugs to take affect. He drags the unconscious body of Lewis from the house to a clump of trees across the street where he kills him by shoving a broken tree branch into his neck and drinks his blood. Martin returns to the house where he has sex with the unconscious woman. But out of compassion and pity, he decides to let her live.
Martin begins to have romantic monochrome visions of his vampire past (real or imagined), where he drained blood from a young woman and was chased through the streets of a nameless European town by a torch-lit mob.
During one Sunday at church, Cuda brings home Father Howard (George A. Romero) who asks him about the possibility of exorcism and demon possession. Father Howard calls upon the elderly Father Zulemans (Clifford Forrest, Jr.) over at Cuda's request. Together, Cuda and Zulemans confront Martin his bedroom and attempt to perform an exorcism on him. At this point, Martin remembers (another real or imaginary flashback), in the Old Country of people trying to perform an exorcism on him, and he flees them. Martin then flees from Cuda and Zuelmas as well. A little later that night, Martin terrorizes Cuda in a children's playground when he puts on a Dracula cape and puts false fangs into his mouth to pretend that he really is a vampire.
One day, Martin finally musters the courage to talk with Mrs. Santini during a routine delivery to her house where he tells her that he's aware of her attempts to seduce him and wants now to have sex with her. After having sex for the first time, Mrs. Santini becomes more depressed for she tells Martin that her husband just left her because she discovered that she cannot bear children, and that her desires towards him are based on sex and nothing else. But Martin wants to stay with her and help her move on with her life. Martin tells the radio show host about his affair with the housewife and that he no longer has the urge to attack other women.
Meanwhile, Arthur meets with Cuda and tells him that he wants Christine to leave town with him so they can get married and start a family. But Christine becomes angry at Cuda when he tells Arthur that insanity runs in their family and he shouldn't consider having children with her. Shortly afterwards, Christine packs up and leaves Braddock for New York with Arthur despite Martin telling her that Arthur is abusive towards her. But her mind is made up. Before leaving, Christine tells Martin that she really has no ill feelings towards him and just wants to make a fresh start with her life. She says goodbye to him and promises to write. But Martin knows that with an abusive and possessive man in Christine's life, she probably won't.
Depressed over losing his one true friend, Martin phones the radio show host and tells him that he's getting "shaky" and wants to go out looking for more victims. That night, Martin travels to a rough crime-ridden area of Pittsburgh and attacks two derelicts in a alley, injecting them with narcotics. He kills one of them by silting the bum's wrist and drinking his blood. Martin is about to kill the second one when a police car shows up and gives chase. Martin narrowly escapes during a long chase on foot which leads from the garbage strew streets and through a local store. Martin runs into an old warehouse where a drug deal is going down. A shootout between the two cops and the three thugs begins where all of them are killed, leaving Martin as the sole survivor who casually walks away from the carnage.
One day, Martin finds Mrs. Santini dead in her bathtub, after she had slit her writs with a razor blade. Martin anonymously calls the police to report the body and leaves. He phones the radio show host one final time to say that he really doesn't need friends or people to talk to for he is his own person. But when Cuda learns about Mrs. Santini's suicide, is mistakenly thinks Martin killed her and made it look like a suicide as he's done before. Cuda walks into Martin's room while he is asleep and kills him by hammering a wooden stake through Martin's heart.
Cuda buries Martin's body in his back garden, while over the closing credits various voices from people are heard talking to the radio show host asking the whereabouts of "the Count".
既然每个人都能够用作弊的方法称为超级精英，那超级精英的意义何在？胡闹的坦荡过一生才是真快乐。结尾特别有香港贺岁片那种大团圆的糊弄感
1、最妙的是元凶不是那个男生，而是AI（或者说被校长不当利用后的），“恋爱”和“后悔”是青春啊！2、优点依然在对各种社会现象的反讽呈现，比如通过屁股变强大脑。3、缺点是对核心问题模糊回避。其一，正如正男所说，风间一直想成为精英需要我们解救吗？这个问题被风间的信回答即精英的评价标准不是单一的，但是风间想要的就是“正统”精英啊！其二，正如AI的疑问，旁观路人为什么要给小新他们加油，难道不想不费力成为精英吗？这个答案被青春热血的意义和努力生活的鸡汤取而代之，但既然有通向更好生活的捷径为什么不能用呢？并不是说这两个问题有所谓最优解，而是电影里没有给清楚自己的解释。
既然每个人都能够用作弊的方法称为超级精英，那超级精英的意义何在？胡闹的坦荡过一生才是真快乐。结尾特别有香港贺岁片那种大团圆的糊弄感
青春是自卑，恋爱，后悔，闪闪发光，孤独，狂欢，曾经有过…
精英vs青春的人生观 没想到小新的故事可以讲这么好 低估了
第33代番长真的太帅了！！！！最喜欢的一部剧场版
学园感觉是最“反小新”的一部剧场版，没有天马行空的背景设定，也没有太多奇观性质的情节，中间一部分反而就像是普普通通的一部校园番那样，有各式各样性格迥异的人物，有一段称奇的校园异闻，有一群人希望解开这个谜底...但这次同样也讲友情，也讲青春，确实又讲出了另一种味道，小新和风间其实谁都没有错，一个想要抓住的是现在的彼此，一个想要抓住未来的彼此，虽然两个人同时碰到了炒面面包，最终官方还是让风间抓住了，是否也是一种隐藏在剧作后的倾向呢？PS：开头风间遇难的倒叙，大喊新之助后切片头，绝对是和哆啦a梦搞联动吧✌️
各种意义上的大团圆，偶尔看看还是很棒的！青春啊！就是当下！
虽然都想成为精英，但是这样的青春却是乏味的。
看到了些有友情、亲情、爱情等。
本新风党+春日部团粉狠狠满足，最后的马拉松部分又燃又好哭。青春是什么？对我而言，是春日部防卫部陪伴的每一天😭。
结尾风间说害怕跟朋友们渐行渐远
6/10。大脑和屁股的形似符号作为一条独特的线索贯穿始终，钟楼的吸血鬼依靠咬精英学生的屁股获得智力数据，小新的思考则是由屁股充满活力的扭动完成，恶作剧般暗示僵化的精英思维和笨蛋别无二致。低龄喜剧来源于严肃之物的意义变得卑微，极其注重学园名誉、喝着红茶看似庄严的校长，却撅起屁股掩饰放屁的滑稽行为，以及装疯卖傻的第一优等生，因为仿做小新他们的动感超人泥塑时下意识拼对了字，竟然因此露馅，原本不可一世的形象瞬间松弛了下来。高潮的赛跑场景中关卡式的设计和滑稽动作，也各具诙谐气息：不良团体和形似人猿泰山的女孩，帮助主角们在机器清洁工和喷射粉笔的小飞碟等高科技障碍物间穿梭，原本狂奔时表情逐渐凶神恶煞的千潮战胜了外貌的自卑，大胆拥抱了真实自我；影片在连续、欢乐的情感历程中，关注起被格差教育所牺牲的孩子友谊关系。
又给看哭了，永远爱春日部防卫队！青春就是，FIRE！！！
这是在致敬《哆啦A梦》剧场版吗？尤其是开篇风间大喊了一句“しんのすけ”，像极了每次《哆啦A梦》剧场版大雄大叫一声“哆啦A梦”。
朋友啊，就是有成为精英的能力，但还是愿意跟你一起变笨蛋的人。（把风间和小新给我锁死！）
并不是说《花之天下》真的那么差，关于青春的呐喊依旧让人感慨，只是当电影妄图循着《大人帝国》的路子再收获一次成功，那就必然被人拿出来对比，并在对方里里外外自洽的圆满面前黯淡下去。
青春现在才开始哦：酸酸甜甜的恋爱，浓烈的友情，数不清的梦想，人生中最闪耀的时光那就是青春哦。只要能挺起胸膛活下去，这样就够了。只懂当下，青春Fire！
还好，春日部防卫队永远五岁。其实不会真正去面对分离的，我的新风。
这部也太棒了！幼儿园推理比小学生推理强多了😂。而且能感觉到好多风格，青春感，荒诞，还有小新风间拌嘴时就像是漫才。传递的观点也很棒，不要在意别人的目光，自在而活。就真的语无伦次了！
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